Are Strange Work Habits the Signs of an Affair?

You’ve just received a call from your spouse to say they will be working back late tonight.  You ask if there’s anything wrong and are told that everything is fine but there is a backload of work to be finished.  This is not the first time your spouse has had to stay back late at work.  Actually it has been happening more and more over the last few months.  You start to wonder what might be going on, but you’re not sure.  It just seems strange that after working for the same company for over 30 years and coming home at the same time every day, your spouse is needed to stay back all of a sudden.  Do you think the worst?  Maybe your spouse is having an affair, but you’re not sure. 

Does this sound familiar to you?  If so, you will know of the other signs you need to look out for if you suspect your spouse is having a physical affair or not.  Work routines that change suddenly could be a sign of a physical affair happening.  The problem with this scenario is that work routines can change suddenly without notice and can last for a lengthy period of time.  The changes to work routines could also include a need for your spouse to work out of town on a regular basis.  If you and your spouse have total trust in each other, this change to work routine will not be a problem.  This may be a problem if your marriage has not been travelling too well.  Suspicions may arise if your spouse insists on travelling alone and possibly stays away longer than usual.  Again this could just be a change of routine being conducted within the workplace and is completely unavoidable.

Another sign could be that your spouse has started talking about a co-worker more and more frequently.  You may not be too concerned if you were to ask what the co-worker’s name was and they turned out to be of the same gender.  The consistent talk may only be a problem if the co-worker is of the opposite gender.  If this is the case, you are quite right to say to your spouse that you are not happy with the situation.  If you get a surprised reaction and your partner is sympathetic to your feelings, there is probably nothing to be concerned about.  On the other hand, if your spouse becomes very defensive and quite irate that you would think that way, you have every reason to be suspicious that there is something going on of a more personal nature between your spouse and their co-worker.

If spouses were once welcomed into the work environment but suddenly that situation changes, you are probably going to be concerned with the shift in policy regarding spousal visits.  Generally within a workplace spouses will know each other away from work.  You are quite within your rights to ask other spouses if they have heard of the new policy at work regarding spouses visiting the office.  If the answers you get confirm what your spouse has said, you should feel comfortable with the changes.  If no one else has heard of the changes you spoke of, those alarm bells should be ringing very loudly. 

Changes at work can be unavoidable.  They are bound to happen because of the way business is conducted.  You may be worrying about something that is not happening at all with your spouse and somebody else in the workplace.  All those work changes could be totally out of your spouse’s control and your spouse is an innocent party to it all.  The time to worry is when there is no reasonable explanation for changes your spouse says are happening at their workplace.  Go with your intuition regarding apparent changes at the workplace.  Contact your spouses’ workplace and voice your concerns regarding the so called changes that have been put in place.  If you get a response from your spouse’s employer that backs up what you have been thinking, then you have nothing to be concerned about.  Be prepared to ask questions of your spouse if their employer is totally unaware of any changes you have spoken of.  As said before, use your intuition.